What Is Assuming Positive Intent?

Assuming positive intent means starting from the belief that people are trying to do good work, make reasonable decisions, and act in good faith - even when their actions are frustrating, confusing, or seem to work against you.

It’s easy to be cynical at work. When another team misses a deadline that blocks you, when leadership announces a reorganisation that seems pointless, when a colleague doesn’t respond to your message - the critical interpretation comes naturally. “They don’t care.” “They’re incompetent.” “They’re playing politics.”

Some people call this being “a realist.” I’ve found it’s rarely the productive path. Cynicism reinforces negative behaviors, erodes trust, and honestly just makes you less happy.

Assuming positive intent is different from being naive. You’re not ignoring bad behavior or avoiding accountability. You’re choosing to start from a place of trust and curiosity rather than suspicion and criticism. Most interestingly, even when others aren’t acting with perfect intent, assuming they are can actually shift their behaviour toward it.

Why It Actually Matters

Beyond the obvious benefit of not being miserable at work, assuming positive intent has tangible impacts on effectiveness:

Better collaboration across boundaries - When you believe the security team has difficult constraints rather than just being difficult, you engage differently. You ask questions. You look for solutions. You don’t waste energy on resentment.

More effective feedback - Feedback delivered from a place of “I believe you’re trying to do good work, let’s figure out what’s getting in the way” lands completely differently than feedback from “you screwed up.” People actually hear it and feel like you’re trying to help them improve.

Reduced cognitive load - Cynicism is exhausting. Tracking grudges, second-guessing motives, maintaining suspicion - it all takes mental energy that could go toward actually improving things.

Trust compounds - When you consistently assume positive intent, others notice. They start assuming the same about you. It creates a virtuous cycle.

Your own wellbeing improves - Spending your days assuming people are trying their best is just a nicer way to live than assuming everyone’s self-interested, incompetent or playing games.

The gap between a team that defaults to positive intent versus one that defaults to cynicism is massive in terms of execution speed and quality of life.

What It Looks Like In Practice

Let me give some real scenarios that show what this looks like day-to-day:

Scenario: Cross-Team Dependencies

The situation: Your team has been waiting three weeks for Security to review and approve a new deployment pipeline. Your launch timeline is slipping. Security keeps saying they’re “reviewing it” but hasn’t given the green light.

Cynical interpretation: “Security always blocks everything. They don’t understand the business needs. They’re probably just being overly paranoid and will end up blocking us with late feedback.”

Assuming positive intent: “Security is probably juggling lots of competing priorities and issues. Let me understand if I can provide any context or additional information that can make the review easier for them.” You schedule a call, offer help, and discover they’re concerned about a specific novel configuration that has the potential to expose credentials. Together you figure out a way to adjust the approach so that this concern doesn’t pose an issue, and your timeline remains intact.

The outcome: You actually solve the problem instead of stewing in resentment. Plus Security sees you as a partner, not someone trying to route around their expertise.

Scenario: Confusing Leadership Decision

The situation: Leadership announces a restructure that moves your team under a different leader. From your perspective, you had great alignment with your current leadership chain and this seems disruptive and pointless.

Cynical interpretation: “They’re just reshuffling deck chairs. This is ill-informed and pointless. There’s probably some political motive we’re not seeing.”

Assuming positive intent: “Leadership has visibility into things I don’t. Let me ask questions to understand the thinking.” You talk to your manager, who explains that this structure better aligns your team’s work with a broad company strategy, and the new leader actually has a lot of expience and direct oversight of the implementation.

The outcome: You understand the decision, can communicate it properly to your team, and approach the transition constructively. Even if you still disagree with the call, you’re not poisoning the well with cynicism.

Scenario: Colleague Missing Commitments

The situation: A teammate has missed three deadlines in a row that you were depending on. They keep saying they’ll get to it but haven’t delivered. You’re frustrated and now behind on your own work.

Cynical interpretation: “They don’t respect my time. They’re clearly not taking their commitments seriously. Maybe they’re just not capable of doing the work and won’t admit it.”

Assuming positive intent: “I wonder what’s going on? Let me check-in to see if they’re okay.” You have a direct, compassionate conversation: “Hey, I’ve noticed weren’t able to complete the last few commitments we discussed. Is everything okay?” You discover they’ve been dealing with a sick family member and are struggling to keep track of everything while managing the stress and distractions.

The outcome: You understand what happened, can adjust your expectations and offer support, help them figure out what to deprioritise, and maintain the relationship. The compassion you show in this moment builds trust that lasts well beyond these events.

The Connection to Accountability

Assuming positive intent doesn’t mean avoiding accountability or accepting poor performance.

When you need to give critical feedback - especially across team or functional boundaries - assuming positive intent makes that feedback more effective, not less. Starting from “I believe you’re trying to do good work, and this is my perspective… let’s figure out a solution together” creates a genuine conversation focused on improvement rather than blame.

For managers dealing with direct reports - assume positive intent, but don’t dilute accountability. The two work together. Assuming positive intent is the perspective that helps you deliver clear, constructive feedback. It’s not a reason to avoid necessary conversations about performance issues.

“I believe you’re trying to deliver quality work, and I’ve noticed a pattern where your deadlines are slipping. Let’s talk about what’s causing that and how we can address it.”

This lands better than leading with suspicion, but it still holds someone accountable. Feedback and accountability are crucial. Positive intent is the frame that makes them effective.

Practical Techniques for Assuming Positive Intent

So how do you practically make the shift from cynicism to positive intent?

1. Reframe Your Questions

When you notice yourself asking a cynical question, consciously reframe it:

  • “Why are they being so difficult?” → “What constraints might they be under?”
  • “Don’t they understand how this impacts us?” → “What visibility do they have into our situation?”
  • “Why won’t they prioritise this?” → “What’s competing for their attention?”
  • “Are they incompetent?” → “What skills or context might be missing?”

The reframe shifts you from judgment to curiosity, which changes how you engage.

2. Choose the Charitable Interpretation First

When someone’s behavior is ambiguous, consciously choose the most charitable interpretation before gathering more evidence:

  • They didn’t respond to your message → They’re probably swamped, not ignoring you
  • They pushed back on your proposal → They probably have legitimate concerns, not a personal issue with you
  • They changed direction suddenly → They probably got new information, not being indecisive
  • They missed a deadline → Something probably came up, not that they don’t care

You can still investigate and verify, but starting from the charitable interpretation changes your tone when you do.

3. Practice Active Perspective-Taking

Before reacting to something frustrating, pause and actively imagine what it’s like to be the other person:

  • What pressures are they under that you can’t see?
  • What information do they have (or not have) that shapes their decisions?
  • What’s their manager asking them to prioritise?
  • What recent incidents or challenges might be affecting their capacity?

This isn’t about making excuses for bad behavior - it’s about understanding the full context and shifting out of your own.

4. Communicate Your Positive Assumption

When you’re frustrated but assuming positive intent, say it out loud:

“I know you’re juggling a lot, and I’m guessing you didn’t mean for this to slip. Can we talk about how to get this back on track?”

“I’m sure there’s good reasoning I’m not across - can you help me understand the thinking behind this decision?”

“I trust you’re trying to get this right - let’s figure out what’s getting in the way.”

Verbalizing your positive assumption actually invites the other person to live up to it. It’s a surprisingly powerful form of leading by example.

5. Build a Mental Library of Times You Were Wrong

Keep track of times your cynical first reaction turned out to be wrong. That time you thought someone was being difficult and they were actually dealing with a family emergency. That reorganisation that seemed pointless but actually improved collaboration six months later. That colleague you thought was checked out who was actually working through a tough problem you weren’t even aware of.

These examples make it easier to pause before jumping to the cynical interpretation next time.

6. Don’t Reciprocate Cynicism - Offer a Counterpoint

When someone else engages in cynical commentary, resist the temptation to pile on. Instead, provide a counterpoint that opens the possibility of positive intent.

You’re not being naive or dismissive of their frustration. You’re redirecting toward curiosity and problem-solving rather than letting cynicism compound. This does two powerful things: it models positive intent for others, and it often deflates the cynical spiral before it takes hold in the team culture.

When to Be Cautious

Positive intent is powerful, not universal. There are times when you need take heed of the patterns and objective truth:

Repeated patterns without improvement - If someone consistently acts in ways that undermine the team despite feedback and support, at some point you need to acknowledge the pattern. Assuming positive intent doesn’t mean ignoring sustained bad behavior.

Clear bad actors - Occasionally you encounter people genuinely acting in bad faith - playing politics, deliberately undermining others, or being actively deceptive. These situations exist. The key is they’re rare, and you should have strong evidence before concluding you’re in one.

High-stakes decisions with unclear information - When the impact is large and you lack context, healthy verification is smart. Assume positive intent as your starting point, but ask questions and gather data before making a big decision on faith alone.

These situations are less common than we think. Most of the time when we jump to cynicism, we’re wrong about the other person’s intent. Start with positive intent as your default and adjust only when you have concrete evidence otherwise.

For Managers: Modeling and Coaching Positive Intent

If you’re leading a team, your assumptions about intent are contagious. A manager who defaults to cynicism creates a cynical team. A manager who defaults to positive intent creates a trusting one.

Model it explicitly - When you’re frustrated with another team or a leadership decision, voice your thought process to your team: “I don’t fully understand this decision yet, but I trust there’s good reasoning. Let me find out more.” Show them what it looks like to pause before going cynical.

Intervene on team cynicism - When your team starts sliding into complaint sessions about other teams or leadership, redirect: “I hear the frustration, but what’s probably going on from their perspective? How can we engage with them productively?” Don’t let cynicism become the accepted or expected team culture.

Reinforce positive intent in feedback - When coaching team members on collaboration or communication issues, start by confirming you believe they’re trying to do good work, then address the specific behavior. This models the pattern you want them to use with others.

Create space for direct communication - Much cynicism comes from speculation and distance. Encourage your team to talk directly to people they’re frustrated with rather than processing it in isolated channels. “Have you talked to them about this?” should be a reflex question.

Acknowledge when it’s hard - Assuming positive intent isn’t always easy or natural. Recognize when your team (or you) is frustrated and choosing positive intent anyway. “I know this situation is frustrating, and I appreciate that you’re choosing to approach it constructively.”

Wrapping Up

Assuming positive intent isn’t naive optimism or avoiding hard conversations. It’s a choice that makes you more effective, makes collaboration easier, and just makes work and life more pleasant.

Assuming positive intent naturally demonstrates it. When you engage with others from a place of trust and curiosity, they feel it. It changes how people engage back. It creates a virtuous cycle that elevates entire teams.

Cynicism feels realistic and tactical, but it’s actually corrosive. It damages relationships, makes feedback less effective, and frankly makes you less happy.

Choose to assume positive intent. Ask curious questions instead of making cynical assumptions. Believe people are trying to do good work until you have real evidence otherwise.

You’ll be surprised how often you’re right. And even when you’re not, you’ll find the approach shifts behavior in the direction you want anyway.